no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she smelled like a LAN party
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
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