How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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