I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
