You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
