I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
