I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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