I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
