last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
