Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
