So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
