Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
