so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
