I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
