ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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