Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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