Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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