you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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