You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
