Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
