Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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