We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
