Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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