i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
