i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
