So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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