I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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