Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
