Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
3 2 1 whiskey
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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