i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
