1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Boobs speak an international language.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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