Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
