Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
