i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
