Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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