do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he fucked my hip out of place.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
