you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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