worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Farmville is her only friend.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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