She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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