after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
