I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
