the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
