But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
