Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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