Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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