Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
