Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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