And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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