how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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