your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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