there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
