So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
